The remote is squarely on your belly button but you can't reach it.
Every Sumo wrestler you pass by turns and squats in a defensive posture.
You've finished your last forkful and the kids are being told their breakfast is ready.
Before dinner you looked like a stunning "after" photo and after dinner you looked like that darn "before" photo
You receive a call at the dinner table and your boss says, " Where are you? Monday's meeting is about to start."
If eating turkey became a felony there would not be any forensic evidence to convict you.
If food scraps from the table actually were fleas then your dog would not have to scratch himself for the rest of his life.
For your guests personal safety your spouse has requested that no one wear any headdresses displaying multiple feathers
When the food runs out you ask relatives stupid questions like "Aren't turkey bones edible?"
Although you cooked a manly sized turkey, when your guests arrive late your spouse nervously suggests to them that maybe it would be a nice change of pace to order a pizza.
The amount of Serotonin in your system is enough to keep even the dawn from awakening
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