Saturday, January 8, 2011

Top signs Santa has been overeating

The entire  warehouse of Elf cookies has been devoured and sadly even some of the Elves are missing

Santa is now charged for two seats on sleigh flights

Under intense strain, each reindeer's nose turns red

Impossible to talk to Santa without having a blizzard of red and green cookie crumbs spew at you

Workman's compensation claims for reindeer back injuries are through the roof ( not to mention the sleigh itself being through the roof)

The conveyor belt carrying the Elves cookies has been rerouted to Santa's mouth

Chimneys are no longer an option; just hurls presents during flyby

Santa sits on sleigh;  sleigh collapses

Under tremendous pressure,  Santa's belt buckle launches off and  demolishes  the toy factory

At security checkpoints it takes a dozen men  hours to pat him down

Santa's press release alleges that intense meteor showers were to blame for widespread  roof damage

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