Other employee's get year end bonuses; you get tasered.
12 times during your performance evaluation you distinctly heard the words "Drop dead"
He's serves a new trainee coffee in your coffee cup and then invites him to drink it at your desk.
The only reason you were invited to the office party was to play the donkey in the pin the tail on the donkey game
Your name is Bob and when you play your employer's albums backwards you clearly hear the words "Kill Bob"
He asks you to go and pick up a pizza and then quickly changes the locks.
Your keenly trained senses suggests there may be something amiss. Your boss won't give you eye contact, he straightens perfectly ordered papers, and you pick up a slight stuttering when he says "Your fired!"
You so annoy everyone that when the boss hires the mafia to do a hit on you Mr. Big says "It's on the house"
Your 8 x 10 photo of your family has been switched out with an unemployment application
If memory serves you correctly, the directions to your new work area places you inside the chute that drops into the dumpster
You thought it was too good to be true that you were eligible for 52 weeks of vacation this year and you were right
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